The Mash-up Ambition.

I know that I’ve been showing you a lot of these mash-up pictures now. And while you were pretty charmed at first, I suspect some of you out there have been finding yourself thinking:

“You know, some of these are pretty shoddy.”

You think I don’t know these are shoddy!

I know these are shoddy. I AM SUPER AWARE OF JUST HOW SHODDY THEY CAN BE!

But I’m afraid it’s required.

Hear me out.

I’m snapping off pictures, in glaring lighting, of books and, even worse, computer screens, all while I have just a few moments to do so. I’m editing on a phone, jumbled now with unfindable pictures, using the easiest to use, barely functional software. I need the constant reinforcement of finishing one of these pictures in half an hour or less.

But I could take much more careful pictures. I could spend the time to set everything up exactingly. I could master Photoshop, make my edges perfect, and color balance everything. I could insist the lighting and angles make real world sense. 

I could spend all day on one single picture and make something beautiful.

And you would be amazed.

Life is a Fountain would become an Internet phenomenon. It would go viral!

Magazines would come calling, TV shows. Celebrity parties! Cocktails with Bob Dylan! Fame would grab me by the scruff of the neck!

And then the lawsuits would commence. The Peanuts people might turn a blind eye, but whoever took that picture of a chicken is going to sue, and many, many more will follow.

My flash in the pan fame will fade, as it does, but the lawsuits will drag on. And what defense do I have? This is a very copyright protective culture.

I will soon be penniless.

So if Charlie Brown looks like he’s floating in space, or a chicken looks fake, let’s all just really work on our suspension of disbelief here.

My future depends upon it.